I cleaned my face with an oxy pad this morning. Damn did that bring back memories.

See, I never had that many pimples as a teenager. But I freaked over each one. I used the toned clearsil and oxy pads to keep them under control, as well as products from the body shop. Nightly, I'd use the oxy pad to clean out my pores. There was one variety, I believe, and it was so sharp it took my breath away.

When I got out of high school, I had pimples like never before. I'd had them somewhat, but now, I had more. I was put on loads of medications which would work until they didn't. Nightly, I continued my use of the oxy pads to clean those medicated pores.

When I was nineteen, my doctor asked about other things, such as my periods. I'd mentioned it before and now, we discussed them and my acne. And other factors. I believe I'm the only person I know that can say they went to get their pimples fixed and came out knowing they can't have children.

I was put on accutane and the pill and my pimples went away. The Accutane cleared them up and the pill kept them away. This went on for years. People couldn't believe that I'd ever had acne. The oxy pads were not purchased again.

Until yesterday. I went off the pill in June and now, I'm pimplely. I tried clean and clear, I tried nutregena but I'm back to oxy. And there's so many varieties! I have the sensitive skin version, which does not have a smell. The sensation is odd; this chemical that doesn't smell yet is so strong. I don't like that it's not good for the environment and may look into body shop options. Yet, it's a transport back to high school each time I wipe one of those pads over my face. Not the crap of high school and the part that I hated. Not that. But of rituals and trying to take care of something out of my control.

If only I didn't have to have pimples to be transported back.

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