I need to focus myself.
I need to take time for me.
I need to take time for my writing.

For I can write sometimes. Not well, but in a way that I feel better afterwards. That I can relax an idea inside of me.

I need time.
I need sleep.
I need to know what's going to happen in August.

My masters finishes in August. Two terms earlier than I expected it would. I want two 90's this term because I want to have a good average. Right now, it's an 86.7. This pleases me. But what will I do when I'm done my masters? I'll need to sort out my own direction.

I need direction.
I need inspiration.
I need to keep this alive in me.

I worry that I'll let it all drop. That in 5 years, instead of applying for my doctorate I'll be saying 'I decided not to do that, it's for the best really'. I'll be turning 32 in five years. Good age really to do a doctorate.

I need to be Dr. and Mr.
I need to be published.
I need to know what will happen.

But of course, no one knows what will happen. I could go to the doctor tomorrow and find out I'm ill. I could give up my dream when I hear a little heart beating through an ultrasound. I could never be accepted into a program. I could write a book and get into a program and become an expert. I don't know. And neither do you.

I do know this: Follow your dreams. If they are at all possible, they will happen.

Enough melodrama. Time to take out the trash.

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