I'm trying hard to do work, and I'm not getting here. Perhaps I should say I'm trying hard not to do work? That might be more honest.

I read a diary entry from someone who was freaking out about people not writing about the tragedy of the space shuttle. Someone who I just found and whose diary I need to watch - they seem to be quite a good writer and quite articulate. However, it sparked some thoughts in my head about national tragedies and the need for some to express thoughts about them and the need for others to not say a word. Sometimes, I think, people need time to step back from the news and think of their own lives. It keeps them sane. Sometimes, it impacts more on one person than it does on another. Sometimes then, we are centric on our own pain and forget that for others, this is a news story. Or forget that for others, the nationalistic ties aren't there because they're from a different country or aren't as patriotic. Or, perhaps, they didn't know when they wrote their entry - another entry I read made note that the news stations were playing it all day long because people get the news at different times. I didn't know exactly what had happened until later yesterday, partly due to my time zone and partly due to the conference. Things happen in peoples lives and sometimes it makes things a story on the news. A tragic story but a story none-the-less.

That being said, it is tragic. I'm not thinking of the tragedy for America, which many are focusing on and the tragedy of the space shuttle. But instead, the tragedy for the families. When anyone dies, no matter how important or unimportant they are to the world, they are lost to those who love them. I cried watching the funeral for Princess Diana, not for her loss to the world, but when I saw the note saying Mommy on her coffin. That's why the picture of JFK Jr. appeals so much, as we see him saluting we realize that first and foremost, JFK was a father and his son had lost him. A loss of a person is a loss of a relationship, of a dream. This was a loss of seven dreams to their families. That should be the focus, that should be the tragedy.

I always feel bad for those who lose someone in an event that is covered by the news. Not only do they have their personal reminders, but they are reminded by the world who feel they have a part of it. Feel they deserve a role in the tragedy of a loss. I also feel bad for those who lose someone the day of a tragedy in non-related events. They must be driven to feel that their loss is lesser. Imagine if you lost someone on September 11th to Cancer. In subsequent discussions with people they would ask if they were killed by terrorists. When the answer came back no, imagine their responses - 'at least you knew it was coming', 'at least it wasn't in the twin towers', 'at least you got to say goodbye'. Yes, yes and yes. But you still lost a part of you and no matter how the death came, they're not coming back. Something came and took your someone and they're not giving them back.

Not to say that these events aren't important to the public at large and shouldn't be covered by the media. If it happened in my country, I'd want to know. Details, events, where-do-we-go-nows. But sometimes we have to put things as they are - it is a loss of a parent, a child, a friend. And this loss affects people in different ways. Sometimes, it is more sensitive to not try to claim a piece of that. Sometimes you have to let things lie as they are.

I'm not trying to fight here, and if an attack does occur because of this entry, I'm not going to respond. My life means more than that, to spend it fighting when I could spend time with my family. Life is a series of relationships and we control our actions within them. I'd like to stand my ground and do so without having to lose it elsewhere. I mean what I say. If I have to fight with you to open your mind then is the results worth the battle? Sometimes yes. Sometimes there is no other way. This time, it's just a diary entry.

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