I'm listening to Jesus Christ Superstar. There are few things I regret, but giving my CD's to my sister is one of them. I'd just moved out, had little money and loads of guilt for taking all of the musicals that I'd hooked her on. So I gave her those. Figuring of course that I'd buy them again. And not realizing that I'd not find them for a good price EVER AGAIN. So I'm listening now. I love JCS. I love the sound, the laidback groovey love children following Jesus around, the transposition of modern day reactions onto biblical times, the sexual tension between Jesus and Judas. The only unsatisfying bit is Mary, not knowing how to love him and making everything alright, but she's not that bad.

I would love to play Judas. I want to play him and rock the house. I want to be able to perform with a huge band behind me, belting out song after song. I want to shock with a being a female playing Judas and amaze as a female playing Judas.

I want to be discovered. Discovered and shot to stardom on the broadway stage. I shall not change - I will not endorse anything I don't believe in, won't start wearing anything I don't support and will spout feminism and scarcastic comments whenever talked to. I will make all the best dressed lists wearing 20 dollar thrift store dresses to premieres and awards shows. I will be given advance copies of books and lego sets. I shall be named one of peoples 50 most beautiful people, their reasons being that I am so very very real. The article will highlight my lack of makeup and the abundance of me. It will also highlight my refusal to have surgery to look like the other 49 people on the list. My cross over to recording non broadway works will be a success, with parallels drawn to Ani, Tori, Bif and Dar. My television work will teach people about being themselves, no matter who that is, but being strong in being themselves. It shall never be preachy. The proceeds of my movies shall be divided between Womyn's shelters and Eating Disorder Clinics, with some money given to cure cancer and providing food to all who need it. I shall be a star, and I shall burn quite brightly.

But first, I need to be discovered. Until then, I shall teach values and morals to teenagers in hopes that if they are discovered, not I, they shall too burn quite brightly. They shall also thank me in their acceptance speeches.

JCS was also one of my best theatre experiences. For yes, I have been in it. Chorus cast - 36 of us. Jesus was the only one that did not stay within the chorus outside of solos. We wore robes that had colours upon them and moved like 'tropical fish' across the stage (according to a reviewer). Our colours formed patterns as we were directed upon a grid as opposed to a regular stage. 150 people auditioned, there were 36 of us. I didn't know at the audition how to make it known that I didn't come there wanting to be Mary. Sometimes I wish I'd let that be known. It may not have changed anything but it might have given me that chance. It was amazing - the feelings of the cast as we performed, the givingness of the director as we followed her vision. We were on stage (which was all layers and stairs) the full musical, execept for two minutes as we transformed into lepers. It was exausting and amazing. I still miss it and it's been years. Five in fact.

This Easter, my brother, sister and I may watch JCS. Not the tape of my performance (which proves that you had to be there to enjoy it - a tape four months later does not do it justice), but instead the movie. We may do shots as we watch it, but that's up in the air. We'd have to develop a plan such as 'Take one shot when Judas justifies himself', 'Take one shot when someone pulls a disco move', 'Take a shot when Mary cries'. And so on. And we shall sing at the top of our lungs. And we shall love it.

Perhaps I will be discovered that day. If I sing loud enough that is. I just hope I won't be too drunk to answer the door.

(0 comments)

<<