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A lonely meal, 2001-12-08, 8:14 a.m.


Have you ever felt lonely in a room of people? I nearly wanted to cry yesterday out of loneliness. It was potluck day. The day everyone brings in meals - some main meals, some salads, some desserts. I brought a salad last time so I didn't have to bring anything this time. And so, lunch comes, I go to get some food. There are some beautiful looking meals - rice with tomatos and chicken in it, veggies in a stirfry with beef, lasauga with a meat sauce, shepards pie, Chicken and brocoli noodles, chicken wings, a curry and chicken dish. What's the common element of all of these? Meat. What makes them mention-worthy? I don't eat meat. There was a potato salad and a bean salad and late-arriving Greek Salad. So I ate those. And two buns. Yes, they were good. But all around me people were enjoying warm, well cooked meals. Comparing - 'did you try this?', 'who made this, it's wonderful!?', 'Wow, this is great! It's so good!'. And I had salad. I was on duty, so I grabbed a piece of a blueberry pastry and ran to the cafeteria.

Now, I shouldn't complain. I have made the choice to have a meat free lifestyle. It's just lonely. I'm trying so hard to be normal and unlike others when I'm eating as to not draw attention. And then, something like this happens. I think last time there was a warm dish or two that didn't have meat. Some rice or something. That didn't hurt as much. Yesterday was hard. A potluck shouldn't make you want to cry.

This reinforces my decision not to go to the Christmas dinner. That's thursday night. The restaurant told them that there's not really anything they can make for me. They don't do vegetarian dishes. I could bring something if I so desired. That's great. A packed lunch to a Christmas dinner.

Why is my culture so meat hungry? Many of those dishes yesterday could have been made meatless - the rice and the veggie dishes especially, but also many of the others. The lasauga was two small purchaced ones - why couldn't they pick up a small veggie one and a small meat one instead of two meat ones? There are people besides myself that might have appreciated that, even if they do eat meat.

I guess the bottom line is that I don't expect people to pander to my diet but I would like them to respect it. Consider it when making their choices - if not for me, but just thinking 'wow, there's going to be a lot of meat dishes there, I know some people might want a choice or two, why don't I also provide a non-meat option?'. But in this culture, that doesn't happen. We are a meat and potatoes, if it had eyes, put it in the meal kind of culture.

And because of that, I can't go celebrate with the staff. I can't have a relaxing meal with them. I stand out. And I hurt.

This all being said, I'm better now. Don't worry - this is my choice and I realize this but I'm sticking to it. It just hurts sometimes, that's all.

And don't forget that the auction is today! Bid now!


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