I'm off, but not why I thought I would be., 2006-03-01, 1:11 p.m.
A few years ago I was on a mailing list. And there was someone I remember from it that I knew a little. Very vaguely. She was a friend of a regular member who came on the list for a few weeks and then left. We'd hear about her from her friend but I didn't know her that well.
I do remember one large fact about her - she died of an asthma attack. This scared the crap out of me - and still does. It made the idea that someone could die of asthma real. That it takes the life of people, not just in movies. And not just severe asthmatics - anyone with it.
Ever since I was sick a few years ago (the start of it is here) my lungs haven't been right. They're better but they're not at 100%. Say 85%. Not bad but not where they should be.
Sunday we helped my brother in law move. I stayed outside in the cold for ages. Then I got a cold. Now I'm home for the rest of the week because I can't breathe. I had thought of taking a week for stress, but I got myself together after I verballized the issues, filled myself with goals and projects and aimed for easter, perhaps with one or two mental health days. I love what I do, but I know my limits. And I rearranged to get to my limits without overdoing it or at least getting away from the things that annoy me the most. But now, I'm off for that same week because my lungs don't work.
Asthma bothers me in so many ways.