The mighty 100. I think I'm going to ramble a little. It's saturday night, I'm waiting for 'School's Out' to come on, and thinking about this diary thing.

Before I opened this diary, I didn't think I could do it. I didn't think it would last and I didn't think that I could write my thoughts. But I have been. I've kept a lot private. There are a lot of memories that I don't put down, a lot of issues I don't touch, and events that I don't write about. If I get a gold membership I'm going to set up a ring for people who only touch the truth. Why is this? I don't know. It could be because there are people I know reading this. It could be because people I don't know are reading this. I think it's the former more than the latter. Those who I want to tell about things, I tell. Others I'm not sure if I can. Not sure why, but well, it's how things are.

I used to talk a lot. People knew me and knew everything about me. They could label me and say that I was one thing or another. But I'm more than that. Telling people everything about me makes me the person with problems, or the weird person or the person who can't do this or can do that. Defining people that way isn't fair. So I don't let myself be defined that way. And I won't for this diary.

Also, part of my reluctance to be completely open comes from fear. Comes from knowing there is at least one person who would use any information that they found on this site to hurt me. Or to keep track of my whereabouts. I hate that there is someone in my life like that. But there is.

I guess this diary is a way to keep track of what I do. It's a way to let out thoughts that roam around in my head. Occasionaly, when I say more than I want I edit. Other times I let it flow.

Writing a diary makes me feel better about reading the diaries of others. I like reading them. From some I get design ideas. From others I get life ideas. I get insights, I get thoughts. Some touch me. Others make me want to get to know the person. Some let me know people much better ... even when I thought I knew them.

There are people I want to help guide. But I don't. I read about questioning this or wondering about that and I want to write them and tell them about things in my life, let them know my theories on the matter or let them know how I feel about it. But for some reason it doens't seem right. Perhaps if it came up in ICQ or in an e-mail conversation I would mention it. But in diary form it doesn't seem to be right to write them and put in my input. Perhaps it should. Perhaps I should. But I don't.

Is this making sense at all? Some how I think not. Of course, why should my entry 100 be different from any other? I know what I'm saying. This diary has touched my life. Other diaries have touched my life. I like having this place to output my thoughts and feelings. And to read the thoughts and feelings of others. Thank you. And please, if you are enjoying me, keep reading. Let me know you're around. Or not. This is a diary you know.....

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