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Ponderings, March 9th, 8:40


I was awake at three this morning. Three or three thirty, sometime like that. It took me a little over an hour to get to sleep again. No this is not a complaint about that point - yes, it is icky that I didn't sleep, but that's not the focus of this entry.

I was thinking about adolecents and how they are involved in sex so much younger than they were when I was an adolecent. Adolecents and how I will have a son growing up in a world where the average age of having sex is 14. He may, despite my teachings on safer sex, make some one pregnant.

I thought about my reaction to this. How I would feel if he did. How I would react to this news. I realized a few things right away. The first is that I would like to be the parent they turn to. I would like to have a relationship with my child that he could feel he could turn to me and tell me this news. I knew that I would want them to be a couple that had been together for a while - a girl that I knew as part of his life. But that what ever the circumstances, I would want them to be able to appeal to me and let me know what was going on.

Second, I realized that I would be more angry about STIs than the pregnancy. Given that this is three am thinking, bear with me. But I would be concerned that if their sex was unprotected enough to cause a pregnancy, then it would be unprotected enough to spread an sti, if they'd been previously exposed. I found myself thinking that a pregnancy has choices: many STIs do not.

I know this seems messed up and that if this actually happens, I won't be thinking in this manner. But really, this seems healthy. This seems open. I want to be this kind of mom, one that is open and can deal with situations.

Let's hope I can do it.


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