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Sleeping problems, 2004-10-07, 8:14 a.m.


D. and I had a discussion about P.s sleeping arrangements on the way to his work this morning. It's such an emotional subject.

See, lately, P. has been sleeping in our bed. Yes, we've been doing the family bed thing. This is because it's still to warm to turn on the heat and I don't want to give him a blanket yet, so he's cold in his crib and wakes up. In the bed he sleeps between us and cuddles. It's great. We can even sleep with the door open and allow Ollie to curl up with us. It's a real family bed.

Problem is, we don't want P. to only be able to sleep that way. We want to be able to have him sleep in his crib. Right now, because he's cold, he wakes up more often. Being tired, I tend to take him into bed to feed him, so he ends up in bed anyway. The goal is for him to sleep through the night in the crib, as he does in the bed. He used to sleep through the night in the crib before, when he was warm.

The goal is to get him to sleep through the night in his crib. Then, before he can walk, we're going to try to put him in his own room.

Yes. His own room.

Even the words make me want to curl up and cry. I love having him so close. I love not having let go of him. I hate that when he wakes up and no one is there, he does a paniced cry. I know that his life from birth onwards is a series of events where I have to let go of him a little. I know that some people have their babies sleeping in a different room from birth. And that some babies never sleep through the night and so the parents are up more often, meaning that babies do have that moment of stress when noone is there, and they do fine.

He is a cuddle baby. He is my cuddle baby. I'm having such a strong reaction to this, something that I can't believe. He needs to sleep in his own bed. I can't have him in ours so long that eventually he's saying 'dammit mom, give me the blankets'. He needs his own room. I need my own room sometimes - he needs that independance as well.

I've just ordered a grobag (the train one). That might help with the heat issue (as will turning on the humidifier and turning on the heat). If he can sleep through the night fairly consistantly, then I'll feel better about him sleeping in his own room. If there's less of a chance of him waking in panic, then I'll feel better. And the bag might make him nice and cozy.

It's hard, being a mom.


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