Stress, 2003-02-03, 6:54 a.m.
It's Monday.
The last two sunday nights I've developed a feeling of anxiousness. A pit in my stomach, a tightness of breath, an anxiety that I can't define so I can't expell. Last night I had a glass of wine and then slept it away - it's still there a little but mostly gone. I just don't want to have to drink away my problems. I don't like drinking and it disagrees with me quite often. And it's not addressing the problem.
I think the feeling of 'need to do so much' is creeping up at the end of each weekend. The feeling that another full week of stress and never stopping is beginning. And what did I do the weekend? I could have done a million things, but the feeling that I should have done a million more is there. The feeling that relaxing means I can't ever relax again. Which I don't like. Even now, my stomach is tightening up.
I have to stop this. It's silly to be so physically impacted by stress, even though I know that that's the way my body does it.
I should take a day or two off, but how? I need a doctors note and I can't easily get one. And why? It's silly really, to do that. Or is it?
Plus, if I take those days, how will I feel the night before going back?
Bah.
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