We Have Brains - Mother -Daughter, 2002-10-14, 4:54 p.m.
We have brains asks:
We're all somebody's daughter, but do you ever stop & dream about your own daughter? Whether or not the Goddess has gifted you with a daughter yet, do you ever daydream about her? I do.
So do you ever dream about your daughter? What is she like? Does she look like you? Do you hope to be that kick ass mom that everyone on the block loves? Do you already have the sex talk in your head? How does it relate to your mom?
Sorry...forgot to add that if you don't plan to have any children, does that relate to your feminism?
I dream about a little girl. I want to be a mother badly, and almost every day, a mention of children is commonplace. I want a little girl badly, one that I can raise and love and teach.
I was raised by a feminist mother, whether or not she articulated herself that way. When I got my period, she made me buy my own pads. I hated her at that moment, but upon mature reflection she was trying to teach me that there was nothing to be embarassed by. She didn't let me watch music videos - a rule that survived my childhood but did not survive my siblings childhood. Because of this (and many other factors) I am much more political and feminist than my siblings. My mom tried to make me media savey at a time that noone else thought of it in our area. My mom was great. Still is.
I dream of a daughter that I can have a relationship with like my mom had with me. I dream of a daughter that I can raise to respect herself. What is it Madonna said when asked if she'd teach Lourdes about men? I think it went "well I think if you learn self respect you dont need to be taught about men". I want to teach her self respect.
I want to call her Morgan. Short for Morgaine, which I think is to much for someone to take on early in life. She'll be wonderful, who ever she decides to be. I want her to be literate and I want her to think. I want her to be open minded. I want her to live her life as much as possible.
The sex talk. Well, I want to be able to have it with her and explain it to her. Not the action - that will be mentioned - but I want to talk to her about being safe. Respecting her self. Knowing to ask the questions that need to be asked and when they should be asked. Let her know that you don't need to be in love to have sex, but you need to at least respect the two people that are in the act. Let her know that she's worth it.
I know there will be hard times. I know she'll hate me. I know that I'll be frustrated. We'll fight, we'll make up. We'll laugh and cry. I have so much to give her and so much to learn.
Someone read an assignment of mine once and asked if I planned to have children. When I replied yes, he said that he hoped they were girls because I would be good for them. I think that I not only want a little girl, I want a little boy. Because if I can be good for a girl, I will be good for a little boy too. I think that as a feminist, I have as much to give to a mother-son relationship as I do to a mother-daughter relationship.