I realized something in the shower. Something like a big epiphany, but one I've realized for a while.

I don't fit in the school system.

I've known this for a while, describing myself as an 'other' in my papers and knowing that I just don't fit. But it falls more into the do people want to change to make me fit line of questioning. Do they want to accept what is different about them to the point that they accept what is different about me?

I am so tired of polite explanations of why things can't be done. So tired of 'well, that's how it is' or 'try to adapt it to fit us'. So tired of having to fit into the middle class values of organizations when I have a working class school that is doing so much. So tired of trying to be a female that fits into a male world. I want to be the person in the world.

That makes me think of objections to womyns studies. That we shouldn't have it. That it's looking down on men. That it's sexist in that looking down on men. That if we have it, we should have male studies. But really, we need womyns studies to inform of the differences so that people can go out and infiltrate the system - the male, middle class, heterosexual, white system - and make it equal. A prof pointed out that the point of womyns studies is to put itself out of work. I agree in many ways. But you know what, somehow, I don't see the need for it diminishing. But I want to be in the world where there is no feeling of otherness when someone is just being themselves. Where the world realizes more forms of innovation, more forms of being and that everyone approches the world with their own lives, education and issues and tries to accomadate and enhance this education.

I want to write a letter and send it to someone organizing something. I went to a meeting where we are planning an innovations fair. This is for schools who have been given innovative status or have applied. We have applied, but we have not emphasied our ICT, more our innovation in our school. Which is the point. Part of it is our participation in 'Techsplorations' and our setting up of CAGIS.

Lets be honest. I work at a working class school. We have grades K-9. We recieved 5% of our school fees in this year, meaning we fundraise for books to use in the classroom. We have a shrinking population. The other schools that were there are middle class, or a middle class mix. That makes a difference. Many of them were high schools, which makes a difference. Many already have been granted innovative status, which means they have recieved 10,000$ a year for the last year or three (you can get it for three years). They have had more time and more money to build up their ICT skills. THey have the flexability to offer courses in those areas because they can make up independent courses. We can't.

Anyway, we're having this fair. It's in the mall and we're displaying how we're innovative. It's for innovative technologies week. Apparently everything has to be ICT based. Here are the topics being covered:

Digital Morphing and photography

Web Authoring

Robotics

Digital Video

Our kids can do many of those, but that's not our focus. And they do it independently, not as much as part of our innovation - at least not this year. This is a continuium and we are not at the point these schools are at. Nor do we have the financial freedom to do a lot of that - again, we don't have supplies for the classes. I want our CAGIS girls to do something. They're allowed to now, but it has to involve ICT. Which is fine but it makes me angry.

***********************

D. and I have discussed this between this sentance and my last. We've come up with a plan. More soon. We're working in the system - doesn't mean we work with it. You need to take the system and flip it. Just watch out.

(0 comments)

<<