I'm so frustrated.

See, I'm allergic to cats. We have a cat who is my pride and joy. During the day, he stays in my bookroom. This is because we don't have a porch and we fear he will run out of the house when we come in or go out. He is NOT an outdoors cat and we don't want to lose him. So in my bookroom he stays when we're not home.

This has been fine until now. Now, I am allergic and everyone knows it. I was allergic before, but it didn't affect me. Now, people are trying to find solutions and everything is coming at me from all sides and I'm tired of it all.

My parents want me to move him downstairs. We have a storage room downstairs. We'd put a door on and he'd stay down there. Which would be fine execpt that's going to become D.'s workroom and eventually house all his stuff. As, you see, when we have a baby, it will have the studio where D's stuff is now and his stuff will move downstairs. We have a laundry room, but I'm NOT moving him there.

Talking to mom just then, she's so strongly against him being in my bookroom that it's frustrating to mention any other option to her. Talking to D. after my conversation with mom, there doesn't seem to be a problem with him being in the bookroom and I sound like I can't live in my house. Added to that, there's a chair I want to get for the bookroom and everyone says 'well, what about when the cat scratches it up? What about the money you spent on it then?'.

But no one says anything like 'what do you want'. It's all, 'you should do this'. You should transfer, you should move your cat, you should do this, you should do that. What about what I want? How come I can't do that without people saying I'm wrong? Why do I try to find impossible solutions and offend everyone when I bring up things that the other side has said. If they're offended and I'm hearing these contrasting things all the time then how do they think I feel? Don't they think I have some solution?

Which, of course, I don't. How can I when I can't think for myself because everyone is trying to do it for me and getting in my way?

All I want is my bookroom. I want the plaid chair-and-a-half I found yesterday in there and a side table. I want to be able to go there and relax. If the cat is in there in the day, as long as he doesn't tear up the chair - which, considering the only furniture he tears up is the couch that was in there, he may not do - then I'm happy. I'll buy a throw to go over the chair and take it off when I'm sitting there, leaving it on for the cat. D. will have to swiffer the place and we'll vaccumm the chair and air the throw once or twice a month. Why can't anyone accept this when I say it?

I just want to sit and cry.

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