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Where I am, 2006-02-23, 06:35


I guess the title 'Where I am' is more psychological than it is geographical. I'm here. Still at my house, still with my family, still in my marriage, still in my job. I just don't think my brain is still in the right place.

Lately I've been fighting with D. Orver what you might ask? On the surface, a cadbury cream egg and a slice of bacon. Really? Him trying to make sure that I'm not going to die at fourty from a heart attack. Or, I guess you might say, many cream eggs and slices of bacon. And he's right.

I've not been taking care of myself lately. I've been overeating like mad. I'm bordering on depression. I'm tired all the damn time. I'm saucy or snippy at work. I'm not exercising. I'm hiding junkfood in my desk. And I'm thinking badly of myself.

That's all gotta change. I don't want to be thin - I'd look and feel funny thin. I just want to be healthy. Perhaps go down a size in tights. Just feel ok about someone taking a picture of me. I'm going to D.C. in May and chance are will be in some pictures - I need to be ok with that. I need to be ok with me.

I'm considering taking a week off. Eating right, getting some stuff done around the house, getting some sleep. Starting exercising again so I remember how good it feels (as it does feel good. I like to exercise). Get my head back to where it should be. I have monday off (board holiday) so that's a start. I think i'm going to have a treat that day and relax. But if that doesn't work then I'm going to take the week. I need to be me again.


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