I feel like crap

I was in the lab with a class and a teacher came with her students. They were getting on the computer. I heard her say 'Oh, I thought you were checking your e-mail' as he loged into neopets. I said 'Are they are allowed to use Neopets', as I didn't know and I know that the admin policy at my old school didn't allow that sort of thing. I mentioned that I usually didn't allow students to log into anything, including neopets. She said he could or that there wasn't a problem with it or somethin glike that, and I went to help my students.

She came to me after lunch. She just wanted to say that she'd checked on the policy and while the main network admin didn't like it, he had no problem with it. And she wanted to let me know that she felt I'd compromised her authority as a teacher. I explained that that wasn't at all my intention and that that's always been my job - working with teachers in labs and enforcing policies like that. She pointed out that she lets them do it for a reward at the end of class (it's a specific type of class) and that it's hard to get them to work. She also mentioned that she knows she shouldn't have walked in and sat them down when I had a class in there. I explained that compromising her authority was in no way my intention, I just thought she was unsure (from her 'oh, I thought you were e-mailing') comment and that this was so often my job. And that I felt really bad.

Which I still do. I cried a little when she left. I'm new. I don't want to be seen as compromising anything. And She said she never says things like that in front of students, which is right, perhaps I shouldn't have. My defence could be that one, I'm used to doing that and two, she did come into my class where I have to ensure that students stay on task. She pointed out that it's so hard to get their respect and I guess I destroyed some of that today.

She has said she's going to try to find better things for them but that she just wanted to talk to me and clear the air. I hadn't thought any more of it, but now I just feel so very bad.

Technically, I was the teacher in the lab and my rules should go. But technically also, she's the teacher of the boys and her rules should go. So, I'm the one who has compromised her authority even through it was my classroom. Or at least, I'm the one crying over it.

I hate things like this. I just feel bad.

(0 comments)

<<