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I love you, I always will. Know that. But I'm not your fucking whore., 2001-08-18, 10:19 p.m.


I just saw 'Save the Last Dance'. I can see what the fuss is about. Pretty good. I want to know how to dance. I want to dance! Course, I'm to old and my body type is not a dancer type. Unless I was in fantasia. But I've always loved dancing. I went to dance camp and rhythmic gymnastics camp when I was a kiddie. I used to be able to stand and walk on my toes. I think I shouldn't rent dance movies any more.

Its saturday night and there's nothing on tv so I've decided to watch movies. I rented 'Save the Last Dance' and now 'Chasing Amy' is the movie of choice. I love this movie. Its the Hooper X Con speech. The part where Holden and Banky are participating in his publicity stunt. 'Whats a Nubian - Bitch you almost made me laugh'. I love this exchange - but the first time I saw it it confused the hell out of me. I love Kevin Smith. 'Chasing Amy' is the most amazing movie, 'Dogma' is such an honest film about religion, 'Mallrats' is just fun and 'Clerks' is one of the best 'first films' I've ever seen.

In fact, here are some favourite quotes. If you've not seen the movie, there may be some spoilers.


Holden: So, uh, what do you wanna do tonight?
Banky: Mmm, get a pizza, watch "Degrassi Jr. High."
Holden: You got a weird thing for Canadian melodrama.
Banky: I got a weird thing for girls who say "aboot."

~^*~^*~^*~^*~^*~^*~^*~^*


Alyssa Jones: You know, I didn't just heed what I was taught, men and women should be together, it's the natural way, that kind of thing. I'm not with you because of what family, society, life tried to instill in me from day one. The way the world is, how seldom it is that you meet that one person who just *gets* you--it's so rare. My parents didn't really have it. There were no examples set for me in the world of male-female relationships. And to cut oneself off from finding that person, to immediately halve your options by eliminating the possibility of finding that one person within your own gender, that just seemed stupid to me. So I didn't. But then you came along. You, the one least likely. I mean, you were a guy.
Holden McNeil: Still am.
Alyssa Jones: And while I was falling for you I put a ceiling on that, because you *were* a guy. Until I remembered why I opened the door to women in the first place: to not limit the likelihood of finding that one person who'd complement me so completely. So here we are. I was thorough when I looked for you. And I feel justified lying in your arms, 'cause I got here on my own terms, and I have no question there was some place I didn't look. And for me that makes all the difference.

~^*~^*~^*~^*~^*~^*~^*~^*

Silent Bob: Bitch, what you don't know about me I can just about squeeze in the Grand fucking Canyon. Did you know I always wanted to be a dancer in Vegas?

~^*~^*~^*~^*~^*~^*~^*~^*

Alyssa Jones: So, you've never been curious about men?
Holden McNeil: Curious about men? Well, I always wondered why my father watched Hee Haw.

If you've not seen the movie, and if you've not been totally turned away from it by these quotes, go see it. Now. Rent it. Open your mind. So many people feel that life is full of answers. It's not.

Sleepy day today. I slept a bunch. And I've been reading trash novels. I finished my quality reading and now am reading crap. Ah well. I think I'll start rereading some good stuff. Or perhaps buy some good stuff. Amy Tan has a new book. I don't have the new Atwood yet. I need money so I can have books.

Ahh... the permanent injuries speech... I think I'll go watch the movie. And, to end, 'Alive' by Joey Lauren Adams

I'm feeling nothing
But all alone
Just missing someone
I don't even know
But until I find them
I'll wait patiently
Just feeling nothing
Inside of me

And where are you baby
Where can you be
Why aren't you here
Loving me
'Cause I want to kiss you
And make you feel right
I want to lay with you
all through the night

And I want to feel passion
I want to feel pain
I want to weep at the sound of your name
Come make me laugh
Come make me cry
Just make me feel
Alive

And so I wait
For that glorious day
When the one I dream of
Comes my way
But until I find them
I'll wait patiently
Just feeling nothing
Inside of me

And where are you baby
Where can you be
Why aren't you here
Loving me
'Cause I want to kiss you
and make you feel right
I want to lay with you
All through the night

And I want to feel passion...

-Joey Lauren Adams


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